[Satirical Fiction] Zoidkins News Issue - 1.

[Satirical Fiction] Zoidkins News Issue - 1.

Postby Cuttlemaster » Fri Jun 24, 2016 6:38 pm

The truth that Zonkwack News reports may or may not reflect the ‘actual’ truth as in accordance with our policy of ‘Our truth is better than yours’
Disclaimer: Everything you read here is a 'funny joke'. Please do not ban us
Zonkwack News
THE NEWS FOR AND FROM TWO UPSTANDING MEMBERS OF THE COMMUNITY

Shocking reveal - Bountiful Grief on Zedwork?!


Although we’ve all long known that the administration office of this server are mired in corruption and crime, a recent investigation may have confirmed of some disturbing rumours that had reached our ears here at ‘Zrandrack News’ - The truth you never expected’

Lady Bountiful - A famous admin, renowned for her ‘tough but fair’ policies on policing the server. Never far from the crumb-filled beard of the server’s namesake, the lady behind the ban hammer is clearly the stabilising influence that keeps the server together. But has the stain of grief and cruelty spread from LVS into even the most zealous admin? Zoblong News investigates...

Our intrepid team of investigative journalists caught their first scoop in Bridgeways, as a poor piglet called on Lady Bountiful to help it. However, the only thing bountiful in that region was death...



We thought it wouldn’t get any worse. We hoped it wouldn’t get any worse. We prayed it wouldn't get any worse.

IT GOT WORSE

We also found more evidence of heinous crimes committed by those meant to protect us. Our bold reporter followed her to the hovel of a noob(and I don't mean chester) , where yet more drama unfolded...




This, unfortunately, is where our knowledge becomes rather hazy. These photographs you have just seen are all that was found on the camera of our reporter, found on the ground outside this residence. All except one chilling piece of video……...



After seeing this evidence we leave it up to you, the reader, to determine the true nature of the events that unfolded on that fateful night. Perhaps it was all just some sick and twisted joke? Or perhaps the rot runs deeper than anybody thought. Of course, the defendant will claim mitigating circumstances - it is, obviously, an established fact that Lady Bountiful is a heavy drinker. Nevertheless, the evidence stands. Please don’t ban us.
Until next time, this has been Zidrick news - The truth is true, regardless of its veracity.

Disclaimer : This is all satire, it was all Cuttle’s / Sir_Overskill’s idea, please don't ban us we love you really honest thanks
Last edited by Cuttlemaster on Sat Jun 25, 2016 12:24 am, edited 2 times in total.
*steps out of the server*

Looks like you've found my signature. Not bad kid, not bad at all.
but that just isn't enough for zurvival.

*teleports behind you*
*Slices you in half with katana*
Heh, nothing personnel, kid. See you on bridgewars...
Cuttlemaster
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Posts: 41
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Re: Zoidkins News Issue - 1.

Postby SirOverskill » Fri Jun 24, 2016 6:41 pm

Gosh, the cinematography of that gif is virtually unparalleled in style and execution. Props to whoever filmed it.
READ MY BOOK http://docdro.id/aEveFAN READ MY BOOK
SirOverskill
Zesty
 


Posts: 55
Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:43 pm
Minecraft IGN: Sir_Overskill

Re: [Satirical Fiction] Zoidkins News Issue - 1.

Postby LadyBountiful » Sat Jun 25, 2016 10:18 am



This is a zatirical tableau. No punkings were hurt in the making.
LadyBountiful
Guardian
 


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Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 1:33 pm
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