The year was 2050...
The month was March...
I think it was a Tuesday...
...maybe around 2pm? Idk... timezones are still a big issue, they really should have fixed them like three decades ago smh my head...Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team stood resolutely at the helm of his trusty ship - the 'Asteroid Boot Passer'. It had been many years since they departed from their home planet, Earth, and Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team grew weary. Their mission was almost fulfilled, with only one last sector to search for remnants of the invasion force.
The invasion force...
Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team remembered them well. They had come not two decades before, laying waste to all in their path. Towns... Cities... That one place in Wales no one can pronounce...
No one could stop them, that is until...
Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team sighed and turned, a single tear dramatically sliding down the side of his face in the way that you only ever see in dubiously successful Hollywood action movies. What was left of the Asteroid Boot Passer's crew were seated in a pleasant, mathematically intelligent, equidistant way that the author doesn't really get and so instead just tells you it's so, around the Captain's chair, in which Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team resides, monitoring the various monitors that show the scans from the monitoring of nearby space. If they were out there, Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team would find them.
A stillness fell over the helm, with only the clacking of keys and steady thrum of the Asteroid Boot Passers main engines to fill the void that so eagerly tried to press in. It would stay that way until-
*BWAAAAAAM!* An alarm blared out across the room, and suddenly everything was chaos! The crew scrambled from their equidistant, mathematically correct chairs and started to run from one side of the room to the other and back, to simulate the spaceship experiencing turbulence - which we don't have the budget for.
"What's going on!?" Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team asked Jerry, Assistant Captain of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team.
"We're picking up enemy forces on all sides, Captain!" Jerry, Assistant Captain of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team shouted in a distinct and inclusive accent over the noise, which you shall have to imagine, as we also do not have the budget for that.
Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team closed his eyes in what he hoped was a pained manner, but to be honest he skipped that lesson in acting school, before turning to the crew, whom were still running back and forth, though in a more haphazard, wheeze filled manner, "Raise the shields to full! Turn her around to face them head on!".
The crew quickly found their ways to the now slightly less mathematical, equidistant chairs and started typing furiously in that way they do in spy/crime films when they don't really know what they're meant to be typing and the screens are all green-screened in post, though we don't have the budget for that either, and so we make sure not to mention them.
With a shudder, Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team's trusty ship, the Asteroid Boot Passer, began to turn, the shields absorbing the now audible impact sounds that are clearly ripped off from Star Wars. Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team made a serious face and gritted his teeth, as though it took physical effort to sit there and do basically nothing the whole time. He didn't want his crew to realize how easy he had it, especially not with the pay gap being so large.
As the ship turned, the large viewing window at the front of the helm - which is probably a bad idea, and makes you wonder why they don't use a large screen or something, rather than basically reinforced glass that is liable to smash and suck people out in an overly dramatic action scene - slowly revealed enemies we'd purposefully left vague until this moment, though given the title and thread this is in, you've probably guessed already what they are. I mean, come on, this meme is getting old already and it's only been what? Five days? Why am I putting so much effort in, and who's even going to read this terrible writing. Honestly, back in my day we h-
Unfortunately we've run out of budget for a narrator, and so will show the rest of this story in epic, and most importantly, cheap paint doodles:
Captain Coblé of the Deep Space Cobble Exploration Team dabs.
Get yours today and be one of the cool kids! 
